Updated: May 19
I had never considered meditation and I certainly did not think it would be something I could do.
I had suffered a lot from my broken family. I had also never met my father and that caused me great pain. Around the same time I found this meditation,
I had also seen the breakdown of my 10 years marriage. I had gone through many difficulties before but I still held on to the belief that I was strong and was going to be ok.
Despite been strong, inside my heart was so broken. I often wondered whether everyone was such a good actor enjoying life or was it just that I had been born out of my planet.
I never liked life. I thought it was pretty futile. Born, suffer, school, suffer, work, suffer, retire, suffer, die and disappear. It just never made sense to me.
At one point I was overcome by guilt and sadness for bringing children into such a cruel world. I often never wondered why people committed suicide, I just wondered why they lived at all.
I had been searching passively for healing from my scarred life so with a leap of faith I decided to try this meditation at least for one month, I am still meditating
My first realisation when I started the meditation was that I was FOS (Full of Shit). It was not an easy realisation but more than ever, I was determined to get myself well.
I knew I was poison, and by not meditating, I was going to be spreading this poison everywhere and to everyone living. I knew I had to do this meditation.
The first thing that changed for me was my sleep. I had always needed a lot of sleep, all over sudden, I only needed a few hours a night. The exhaustion disappeared at the same time.
Level 1 to level 6 were pleasant. I felt such weight lifted off, with time I also felt very calm.
I am currently doing level 7. It is a time for me to get rid of my deep rooted habits and attachments, it has not been easy.
I cannot think of anything better to be doing however, it is this attachments that have caused me so much pain and agony.
There is nothing we can do about the wheel that the mind is. It does not stop whether we want it to or not.
We live in our minds, constantly fueling our minds with the happenings of our lives. We think they are what we are, but the truth is, we are the slave to our mind.
You and I know we cannot stop the mind, but there is now a method to get rid of all these thoughts that come and go and free ourselves from the stress and pain. Thank you.